Meeting His Match In A Sushi Bar <OR>
Karl Meets the Sushi Dude

I was wandering the aisles at Interop East, looking for the best free t-shirts (Epilogue Technologies, again), when a voice rang out from behind, "Karl, my friend, don't you have a rental car?"

Jason, a writer from Open Systems Today, came running up to me. "Remember me, Karl? I'm the Sushi Dude from the session this morning. Are you ready to get some sushi tonight?"

In Texas, we have names for sushi - bait, or maybe cat food. But I agreed to try, it so I said, "Sure, the car's across the street."

"I have some friends that want to go with us. This is Nina, Laurel, and Mike. We just filed our stories, which is why we're so late."

"The truth of computer journalism," said Mike, "is that you get dinner when they close the press room."

Soon we were careening through Virginia in a Chevy Cavalier with 10,000 rental miles. Rental miles are like dog years - a mile is really seven miles. Thank goodness it made quick u-turns.

"There it is," shouted Laurel from the back seat. "Turn around." She was drowned out by squealing tires.

The moment of truth arrived, on a platter covered with little sushi bullets and big pieces of tuna perched on rice. Conversations swirled while I pondered the end of my sushi-less life.

"What do you mean there's no lasagna?" said Mike. "What kind of resturant is this? I'll share the chicken Teriyaki with Laurel."

"I'll have the cold saki," said Laurel.

"I don't know if I like warm or cold saki," said Mike. "Bring both."

"If you don't like your saki, I'll take it," said Nina.

"Great, my fried shrimp heads are here," said Jason.

"Yuch," said Laurel, Nina, and Mike. The tuna roll got bigger and bigger as I looked at it.

"These are just like french fries," said Jason, picking up a fried shrimp head. "Does anybody else want one?"

"No way," said Laurel, Nina, and Mike.

"I eat sushi a lot," said Nina, "but that's too much for me."

"Did I tell you guys the wireless LAN's are neat?" asked Jason.

Mike asked, "What are your customers interested in, Karl?"

"Any client/server product that actually works as advertised."

"Jason, if you're not going to eat the whole thing, don't leave the head and eyes pointing at me," said Nina disgustedly. "Eat all of it or hide the rest of the head."

Slowly my chopsticks moved to the tuna roll. I picked it up, closed my eyes, and dropped it in my lap. Keeping my eyes open this time, I brought it forward and finally, finally, ... finally I started chewing.

"Isn't that the best thing you've ever tasted?" asked Jason.

"No, but it's better than I thought it would be," I answered. "Hand me that brown thing."

"That's smoked eel," said Jason. "It's actually cooked, a little."

The rest of dinner went fine. Then, my mouth exploded like a Pinto gas-tank. Finally, I gasped, "What is that one called?"

"That's shaved ginger root," said Nina. "Eat only a tiny bit at a time to clear your palate. Everybody knows to be careful with that."

Coughing and wheezing, I said, "Everybody knows now."

James: Another true story, embellished a bit, starring real people from Open Systems Today. Great way to impress the boss, like Mike the editor sitting on the left of the table? Make him look good in print. Life lesson for us all.